Kinder-gardening: The Gentle Art of Raising Adults

Parenting is an adventure, it’s a quest, it’s a great undertaking - and most of us face those first few days scared out of our wits. Very few of us feel well prepared and equipped when we become parents for the first time! My dear husband remembers that first day home from the hospital with our oldest – “They just let us take him home. What were they thinking?”

But parenting is also a calling – whether our children come to us through birth, adoption or less desirable circumstances (like friends of mine who are raising their grandchildren), we are called by God to this task. Answering the call to the best of our ability is our duty – to neglect it is unthinkable.

In the last 25 years, I’ve developed a theory of child rearing. I call it “The Green House Method of Raising Adults”. What gives me the confidence to share it with you now is that space of 25 years – I’ve had time to not only develop the method, but to watch it play out in four young lives and to see the results as we reach the end of our child rearing years. The whole idea is that raising adults is much like raising plants in a garden – thus the title of this blog entry.

But before we go on, I have to clarify what I mean by “raising adults.” One thing that my husband and I have had foremost in our thoughts for the last 25 years is that when you discuss raising something, you talk about the end product. We raise lettuce, or tomatoes. When we plant seeds we speak of planting radishes, not little round pebbles. We’ve always had the end results of our labors in mind – not old children, but responsible, mature adults.

The “Green House Method” takes what I’ve observed and practiced in gardening and applies it to children. When you raise tender plants, like tomatoes, from seed, the last thing you want to do is to place those seeds directly into the garden. You plant them inside, nurture the little plants, slowly “harden them off” so they can survive in the larger garden, and then finally transplant them in the garden. But even after all that, you don’t abandon them – you cover them if frost threatens, you water them on dry days, you remove invasive weeds, and you carefully watch and celebrate their progress.

When you raise tender human souls, you go through the same process. My next three blog entries will elaborate on the process – I hope you will enjoy reading through the entire series!